


You make the sun

by orphan_account



Category: Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-20
Updated: 2010-12-20
Packaged: 2017-10-13 21:05:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/141716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Only one of them will come out of this alive.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You make the sun

**Author's Note:**

  * For [nothinbuttherain (beyondtherubicon)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/beyondtherubicon/gifts).



It’s never a strategy in the way that she thinks it is. It is painful and difficult, but his love for Katniss is never a strategy. After he says it, stammers out that awkward confession of love to everyone in District 12 — and the rest of Panem — Peeta watches her reaction on the screen. Her face is covered in shock and confusion; he’s ruined her black and white world.

Later, when it comes, the blood from the urn is a shock, too, the pain not registering beyond the fact that he’s hurt her. He’d never meant to do that, only to save her life. Only one of them will come out of this alive; there can only be one victor and Peeta’s determined that it won’t be him.

\--

It’s terrible, those first few hours inside the game. Peeta can’t quite force himself to shut down, and just go through the motions. He wasn’t trained for this. He doesn’t know how to kill simply for the sake of killing; he doesn’t know how to kill at all.

He’s good at pretending, though, and it’s what earned him an eight in training.

After all of the death of the day, the darkness is almost a welcome change. Peeta’s heart is beating much too fast as they start the list of dead, in order of districts, and Peeta doesn’t breathe until they’re all the way through and Katniss’ picture isn’t flashed across the sky. He breathes in, out, and again, ignoring the looks on the Careers’ faces, the considering looks that tell him he will be spared at least for today.

He thinks about her as he stretches out, along the outside of camp. It’s still there, the tiny fist stuck in his chest, the spot where Katniss has been and will forever be. Peeta thinks of her with her sister, Prim’s blond hair contrasting against Katniss’ dark. A stab of jealousy goes through him when he thinks of Gale, shoulders broad and strong. Peeta wishes, with a dark flash of anger, that Gale were here instead. He might be able to save Katniss, better than Peeta ever could.

It takes longer than he’d thought it would to fall asleep, troubled by thoughts of Gale and Katniss and Katniss and Prim, and Peeta is surprised when he wakes and the sky is turning light at the edges. He’s surprised that he’s lived through the night, too.

After a quick breakfast, rationed out by Cato, Peeta follows the Careers as they head for the woods, the light of day just touching the edge of the trees. Peeta isn’t the first who sees it, the smoke and then, closer, the bright orange of the flame. He knows, deep inside he knows that Katniss would not be so dumb, would not make it so easy, but still he wonders who they will happen upon, who would be so careless as to light a fire.

It doesn’t take long for them to take her out, her body small and her screams loud.

Peeta is too jumbled, confusion eating up at him, to remember which district she’s from as he finishes her off. His head is clouding over and he keeps seeing her face as she dies, only it’s Katniss instead. Katniss broken and small in death.

\--

The days feel endless when Peeta is right in the middle of them. After the pain of the tracker jackers and then Cato’s sword, Peeta’s not sure how many days have passed, only that they’ve seemed endless, the nights swooping in around him.

He’s not sure how long it’s been since he covered himself in mud and leaves and laid down to die. The only thing he knows for sure when she finds him is that she is still alive. Her voice sounds all wrong to him, something off, but he doesn’t care because she’s there with him, solidly real. She presses her hand to his forehead and forces him down to the water. She takes care of him despite the fact that Peeta’s been pretending to take care of her all this time. Helpless during these endless days, he’s told himself over and over that he was taking care of her.

But what good he has done lying in his self-made grave, he doesn’t ask.

The next few days are groggy and weightless as Peeta gains and loses consciousness. There are moments when the panic sets in, deep and heavy, because Katniss is gone when he wakes. But then she returns and he finds it difficult not to clutch at her. She knows how he feels and there are moments when he thinks maybe, just maybe.

The days are less endless when she kisses him. There is the sting of betrayal, exactly how she must have felt at the beginning, when he forced away from the Cornucopia and her bow and arrows, and then she kisses him. It's different from the way he kisses her. A little more hesitant and softer, but only a thousand times better.

\--

There's real panic in her voice when he tears his bandage away, pain and panic, and Peeta isn't sure how much of it is for him, but he doesn't care. He won't be able to live without her, and this was the plan anyway. This was always the end goal, despite the rule changing, and he doesn't regret any of it. He has the memory of her mouth pressed against his, her body tucked into his in sleep, and he wouldn't trade any of it for anything.

She thrusts the weapons into his hands and Peeta won't do it, telling her over and over that he won't do it until he sees her hands at her waist, pulling out the berries he'd used to kill Foxface. The panic floods through him, tearing at his guts and his throat until he forces the words out of his mouth. But all she says is "Trust me," and he does. He trusts her with all that he is, enough, at least, to take a handful of berries, and watching her do the same, put them in his mouth.

There can only be one victor.


End file.
